The Artistic life. 750 Words Wednesday, 3 August 2011.
So yesterday on my way to the gym for my Monday Chest Tri-cept and shoulder session I started thinking about a film idea I had awhile ago, this film idea was to only be a short, maybe 30 minutes tops, but the longer I thought about it I started to wonder if I could make a feature out of it. A feature would need more characters. So I came up with a few more, and the main character would need more depth, so I did that also.
I was so into this idea that I emailed myself as a remind to start getting stuff down on “paper” once I got home. I opened up my word processor application and did, basically nothing. Not a thing, I’ve said it in the past, I am a lazy writer and look for any and all reasons to not write, if that means sitting here refreshing web pages then that what I shall do, for hours. Its irritating because I think its a good idea and would love to get it finished or at least in a rough draft form, something to shop around or even sell.
If I actually wrote and sold a script, I could probable live off that money for a few years, thats assuming I sell it for 50 grand, I’m easy living, and 25 grand a year would be awesome, but like I say, I’m a lazy ass writer.
I only really call myself a writer because if I don’t, I’ll be nothing.
I guess thats another reason why I write these blogs, not only as exercise for my writers brains, currently in development, except during the hours of 12 to 2pm, it goes out for lunch. And finds it rather difficult to get back in the swing.
I hope that all these blogs aren’t just me moaning, but I digressing, I need to find my stride, not sure how long my gait could keep up, but I’ll try, and if I fail, I’ll try again, and I’ll keep fucking trying until I die or get something finished and sold. The I’ll be happy. I guess knowing that I could possibly sell something is a great incentive to write daily, knowing that at the end I have some one to take it to and sell. Writing for money, and not in an office in an office building with security guards and I.T. Departments and cafeteria food and crappy coffee machines that make such bad tea I couldn’t expose my insides to such an unbritish beverage. No if I’m to write professionally and earn a living off of it, I’ll do it at home thinks, in this age of eMails and super fast broadband why would i need to go to an office? Plus I hate commuting. With a passion. In fact I way re-post a blog I wrote 2 years ago called ‘All about the Seats’, I tried to be as honest as possible.
“If you want to be a Grocer or a General or a Politician or a Judge you will invariably become it, that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life but I will call the artistic life, if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward” – Oscar Wilde
I heard this quote in an interview with Stephen Fry, who loves Wilde by the way, and the second part, the part about not knowing who you are, simply resinated with me, because society would have us believe that, you should know what you want to be when your 15 or 16 so you can choose the right college courses to take, and then what, you just supposed t do that the rest of your life, never changing, to build a career on what you wanted to be when you were 15 or 16? Give me a break. Thats just not right, why should we, why can’t we change our minds once we realize that what we wanted to be when we were 15 or 16 no longer holds any passion anymore, are we then just supposed to continue in a job/career we don’t care for or even hate just because its what we can do?
When I eventually get a job, no matter what it is I am going to love it at first, that feeling that I no longer have to worry so much about money. But once the honeymoon period is over, which is usually the first few months, I’ll worry about how much it costs to travel to work, how much I spend for lunch, or how much I should spend for lunch, then I’ll start eating the same thing each day because I can’t be bothered to change things up, its simple the way it is and i hate hassle, then my managers decisions will start to piss me off, and I’ll start to hate my manager, then later on I’ll start to bad mouthing my manager. Its always happened and it will always happen, I’ve only ever had one good manager and that was in the prison service, but that could be because the manager was one of us, a prison officer who got her hand just as dirty as the rest of us. All the others never actually did the job they manage.
I guess I have authority issues with people who have never done the job I’m doing for them. Working for myself might actually be the only option I have for a long lasting job, I guess I choose writing. But can I live an Artistic life. Screw that can I survive the artistic life.