“Shut the fuck up”. 750 Words Thursday, 4 August 2011.
I was going to go to the gym today, it is Wednesday after all, Back and Bi-Cepts day. But no, going tomorrow instead. Yayy.
So yesterday I started to write a treatment of yet another film idea, number 37 I believe. What I have lot of unfinished ideas. Ok lots of idea I haven’t started. I find it hard to concentrate on just once then my brain shits a brick and I can’t write anything. Actually I think I should maybe go into that folder and get rid of some, I have lots of stupid ideas, or maybe just move them to the Short film list rather then the features. Hmmmm thats an idea.
The treatment I was writing yesterday, I just left the document open and throughout the day kept going back to it adding little by little, eventually I got to 2139 words (Three pages) I figured thats enough for the day, I’ll hit it again throughout this day and try to at least complete it before I discard it like so many others. Or I’ll start writing the script then either once I reach act two or three I’ll stop, thats usually how I write, starts and stops. For a long time until its done. Or until I kick myself in the ass to get it done. I’d love to have the focus to just do it and not bitch and moan about it all the damn time but thats what I seem to do, then I post this kinda shit online and expect people to not tell me to shut up moaning and just get it done, the wisest thing anyone ever told me about my writing was “Shut the fuck up and just do it” I try to listen but its so easy to not do it, in the same way its easier to sit down then it is to go for a walk.
My life always rolls over in phases, right now I’m in a writing phase, I couldn’t tell you how long it’ll last, but it will end and ill go back to doing nothing and then complaining that I’m not writing, this is my life, I bitch and moan in stead of just doing it, its always been that way, its no wonder I don’t have a school education worth a damn. I wasted school, and college and wasted time fucking around in my twenties, I’ve wasted so much time in my life that it makes me angry to think about it. The solution then I guess it to DO SOMETHING NOW, get it done then at least you can say your tried, if you don’t succeed you don’t succeed, at least you gave it your best shot, right?
I guess “its better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all” I forget who said that. It sure as shit wasn’t me. But I think it hold true. Should we not try for the fear of failure? Give up on our dreams because, we might fail. I read another quote yesterday I cant remember it properly but it was something like “People who attack you for following your dreams are people who failed to achieve theirs”, the first words out of my mothers mouth when I told her I wanted to be a film maker were “Forget it, your only going to fail” I think the reason film making is one of the only passions I keep returning to is because I want to stand to collect an award and say “I’d like to thank my parents………..no wait thats wrong, what the fuck did they do except laugh at me for wanting to be a film maker. I’d like to thank me for my tireless efforts” ok I maybe joking here, but only a little. It would course an uncomfortable silence in the room though.
Is this script I’m writing going to get made, probably not, but I’ll write it anyway, its all practice, and who knows what the future holds, if I make it I might get the chance to, I might be looking through my files one day in 5 years and notice my scripts folder and decide to look through, scroll down to the bottom trying to remember the names of the scripts and what they were about then spot it, number 37, I’ll open it and read the treatment, then think, it needs a little work, but I can do this.
It could happen!
So I’ll write because I like to, I have to many ideas running through my head each week to not get something down and have it be good, I need to write them down if not to just get them out of my head but to get as much writing practice as I can in the screenplay area. And I seem to write each one in a different way, I need a workable system thats good for me and keeps me motivated to continue each day. Of course knowing that it’ll get made either by me or someone else is a good incentive. If I could make this shit I’ll be writing like a demon.
Anyway, I’m off I may need to go to the shops to pick up some cold drinks as we have none and its super hot and humid here today, with little or no breeze to cool me down. In the time its taken me to write this, my ass has swea…………………………………………..