It’s April… So Hock Up A Loogie, Get Some Nasal Mucus In There And Go For Distance.

April fools came and went (You’re only supposed to do it before midday, right?) and yes i fell for a few, mostly because they barked at my interests and hopes and dreams. Than kicked me in the nuts as i realised that they were fake. Which made me sad.

Today being the first of April should also have brought me my next pay check, but the joke is again, on me, as it’s a Sunday it won’t go through until Monday. Now, weather that means tonight at midnight or some time in the morning or afternoon i can’t say, not that it really matters anyway. But then i did get an ‘invoice’ last month and i still haven’t received one this month, and i’m wondering if all those time i failed to clock out will have an affect on my pay. I’ve clock in every day, but some times i forgot to clock out. I’m told that i really have to do that. If i’m not given my full months pay check i’ll not be a happy easter bunny, in fact i’ll be damn right fucking livid. Such as life i guess. But that would mean i’ve ruined my knees for, well not very much at all.

Yes my knees are ruined, i have constant pain now, while i sit it isn’t so bad, but once i stand i feel it, on both knees, in the same place, the inside right around the joint. I’m to young to have ruined knees. Plus i was supposed to have a visit from this dude who comes to my site and has a chat with the site managers and me. Well, it was due two weeks ago. Another nail in the coffin that makes me think that my time at this site is coming to an end. So not all bad then. They’ll put me some where else, or that corporate site i’d prefer to have, where i can sit down and not stand all day. However there are some corporate sites that make you stand all day, so i’ll have to make sure they understand me when i say, “My knees fucking hurt“. ‘Cause as much as i hated being unemployed, i don’t want to ruin my body for one pound over minimum wage. I need my knees, for walking and running, and other stuff where having knees is important.

I am reading  a lot more though. Which can only be a good thing, right? And i have a monthly pay check, which again, is a good thing. So why do i want to get out of there. Sometimes i can feel my brain shutting down, going on standby, unneeded, as if my eyes can only see a screensaver until i move and normal vision is resumed. I sometimes find myself staring at nothing, in a trance, i than wonder “how long was i out” and “did anything get nicked“, sometimes i’ll be watching some cute woman, not paying any attention to want i’m supposed to be doing, and again wondering if someone is stealing something while i’m doing that. I’m just not cut out for the boring, mundane, i need to be doing something, not standing around watching. Then there’s the wankers, the little people that i wouldn’t spit on because that would be a waste of saliva, and an insult to the curb. Yes i sometimes spit, get over it, i do always check to make sure i’m not spitting on someone or that on one is passing me, and i always spit in the road near the curb, so it gets washed away. I’m a considerate spitter. But i do sometimes like to see how far i can spit a nice chewy one, you know, one’s with real meat in them, hock up a loogie, get some nasal mucus in there and go for distance, the added weight helps there. And it’s extra density helps against the wind.

Sorry, back on track, the little people damage me on the small things, things that shouldn’t hurt or annoy, but as it’s them doing it, it for some reason hurts. They open a door and leave it open, they don’t shut it. They try on a shoe, then walk away leaving it on the floor in the middle of the store. They keep asking me to help with shoes, even though i wear my security licence around my neck, a blue credit card shaped thing that says ‘SECURITY’ on it, i’m also the only one there wearing a black suit and tie. I don’t know, maybe it’s because i think these people are dumb but have money to burn that annoys me, or maybe that i’m jealous of that fact. I bust my hump, and my knees, for one pound over minimum wage and have nothing to show for it, and they’d walk into walls because they always have their faces buried in they fucking White iPhones (I’m not a class warrior). Because they can’t understand a simple rule that you can’t take photos in the store, they either try to bite my head off, which if i weren’t at work and people spoke to me like that i would not be so gracious, they wait until the person who told them walks away then try again, i spot them and approach, i repeat rule, and they look on like i just fingered their butthole, without lubing first, and of course those that use the immortal words “With the amount i spend in here i should be able to”, if i weren’t on the job i’d just slap them. These people annoy me on sight now, i see them walk in and everything they do seems to piss me off, and i see them every week, familiar faces in a slideshow of the stupid. All i want to do is run my BIC pen through a throat or two.

See, yet another work rant. Shit… It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Again.

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