Today. I Failed.

8929399302_5b10da7eb2_qWoke up around 8’ish this morning. It was windy in Britain, i checked the unreliable weather app on my phone, it said the wind speed was 30mph. News said it could be 80mph. But then i don’t work on Monday’s, so just went back to bed.

Woke up again at 9’ish. No wind, so i got up and made a cuppa tea and watched – le sigh – GI JOE: Retaliation. I’m not proud of that, i just wanted something to watch, i chose Netflix, as i usually do in a pinch, and it was there, so i watched it. Bit shit, but it fulfilled my masculine needs to watch things blowing up and people getting shot, and it had Ninja’s doing some kind of mountain side aerobatics, like i said, bit shit. But my masculinity was some what satisfied. After that i turned to my trusty computer. My late 2006 iMac (The white one) along with it’s pal iTunes (11.1) who are doing better after the fight they had with my iPhone 5 (iOS 7.0.3). You see the few days ago, iTunes (11.1.2) decided to screw up my life, by life i mean my phone seeing as our phones have become our lives i see that saying that iTunes screwed my life fits perfectly and if you think i’m nuts you can go screw yourself, turn your dick around and shove it up your asshole. But now, after a downgrade, they seem to be getting along, just fine…

After GI Joe, i was kinda bored, that much excitement is too much for 9am. I went online and did my usual endless refresh of web pages hoping that something, somewhere will change. It didn’t. At 12pm, my iPhone told me that i need to go pick up my dry cleaning. It tells me everything. And then it happened, while figuring out the cost of dry cleaning, and how much i’d need for the coming week of work, and of course, i mean it is Monday, Beer. I was wondering if i should buy a book or two…

So this is where i am now, the beer is bought, my dry cleaning is home and dry. But i sit here with something else, two something else’s. I was walking to the shop to buy the beer, i wanted to get that first, then go back to the dry cleaners. I was supposed to stop at the cash machine on the way, pick up a little money. But i just walked right passed it. I didn’t even realise until i was walking passed the shop i buy my beer from. I thought, Okay, so i guess i am buying some books today then. I didn’t even hesitate, just kept on going, like i’d planned it all along. Maybe my brain had planned it and just failed to mention it to me, figured i’d find out sooner or later. Fucking brain.

Now, i love books, i’ve mentioned here before that i have an addiction (<– linky poo) to books, i loooooove them so much (To be said like i child holding an ice cream, a 99 with a flake and lemon sauce. Pictured). I sometimes can’t stop myself, though i never thought my brain would turn on me, i just figured that my addiction to books was from my heart, but now i see that my heart and my brain are in cahoots (That’s a word i don’t use often enough. That and Shenanigans). What chance do i have while my heart and brain are forcing me, against my will i might add, to buy hard back books. And where will it stop? I fear for my wallet. And soon i’ll own my very first, record player (I’m 36, and grew up in the 80’s). I just turned up my Pre-Eighties iTunes playlist. Led Zeppelin is the greatest, most FUCKING AWESOME rock band to ever walk the earth. Sorry, got side tracked by music. So i just kept on walking, a mile to my nearest book shop. You’d think that going into the bank to use the cash machine, only to find that it was empty would have been a sign that i shouldn’t do what i was planning on doing. But no, i just used a cash machine outside. Took out some money and went on to the book shop.

I’m surprised these guys don’t know my name yet. I mean i’ve bought a ton of books from this small independent book store. How come they don’t know me…?

Anyway, i bought two books (pictured below). The Round House by Louise Erdrich and Bad Blood by Arne Dahl. It took me awhile to settle on the two, but i made my decision based on the way i always do, on instinct. Looking at the covers, reading the synopsis on the inside of the dust cover, and going on gut feeling rather then what i know. ‘Cause i don’t know shit.

As soon as i chose, it started to fucking rain again. Signs, or just obstacles to over come?

No, because i was given a plastic bag to put the books into. The same bag i always get when i shop there. The rain means nothing to me, i walked out into it, and thrust my middle finger to the sky, “FUCK YOU, SKY“, i didn’t say, i just zipped up my hoodie and walked out into that rain, facing it head on. I got wet, Really really wet. But not the books.

I bought my beer. Two cans done, six to go. (1 pint cans). Then, when i stepped outside again, the rain was slowing down. Stopping. I picked up my dry cleaning and walked home. Made a sandwich (Mild Cheddar cheese, honey roasted ham and turkey on white bread), grabbed a beer. And sat down to write this blog. Why do i always get so many ideas to write blogs when i’m drinking beer?

Maybe i should drink beer all the time. Maybe i should write like this for a living, but where? Someone employ me to write like this. And let me drink beer and listen to music made from 1980, while doing it. Please…


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