Troll-Lite. How to Troll Responsibly.
There you are, bored out of your mind, it’s not your fault, you can’t help it. The guy is being a dick, he’s asking for it.
There is someone who has been posting about stuff he believes in all day long. The thing is, what he has been posting isn’t up for discussion, it’s a fact and you all need to know this stuff, if you don’t agree with it, then it’s simple, you’re wrong. Plain and simple, you’re an idiot and you need to open your eyes to the truth and stop reading that liberal propaganda.
And by liberal propaganda he means everything that doesn’t fit in with his way of thinking. His or her doctrine.
Now, there are rules to being a Troll-Lite. This is important so listen up;
- I need to be really fucking bored.
- I need to be in the mood. Which isn’t very often.
- They need to be an unreasonable “so and so“.
- They also need to be aggressive in their opinions.
- No swearing or insulting them. Well, not until they do first. But even then, be careful.
- I must tell them that i’m about to mess with them for giggles because i’m bored.
This kind of trolling can be done on anyone really, so long as they are aggressive, unreasonable, and opinionated, otherwise, what’s the point?
At the end of the day your just having fun at their expense so try to keep it light hearted otherwise you’re just another asshole on the interwebz.
There will come a point when you’re no longer entertained by this person and the “discussion” is just going around in circles, at this point you kinda just give up on the whole endeavour. You say goodbye and stop posting. Or they tell you that you’re no longer allowed to comment on their posts, which is basically a big ‘FINE, YOU WIN NOW FUCK OFF‘. But don’t be an ass, you’re done now, so, fuck off.
If they are religious and that is the topic of ‘discussion‘ you can still have fun without going all Dawkins. When they say god, you reply, “which one, Thor?“, trust me, it’s a hoot. Of course religious godites are the most fun because you know deep down they’re never going to change their minds, or give up until they have converted you to handing over your rationale to the invisibly sky man of unreasonable thought. You could go the Gervais route, which will include a lot of laughing out loud. I don’t mean posting LOL’s, i mean actually laughing out loud and crying, and then pointing out that they are insane. Though that is also fun, you’re basically just picking on them, so be careful folks. And just the mere mention that they are almost as atheist as you by saying “But you’re almost as atheist as i am, i don’t believe in 2800 gods, you don’t believe in 2799″ (That would be the Gervais way), really gets their knickers in a twist. And like i said, it’s supposed to be fun, so don’t be an ass.
And when things feel like they are getting out of control, or you feel your grip on reality slipping. Make a joke. Indicate your own stupidity, beg for their forgiveness. Then ask if you can just pray to Thor, because he’s a lot cooler then their god.
Remember, just have fun. Be kind, rewind ⏪.